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Name: Millhno

Is hard when you live around people who can not stopping telling how you take everything personal, and worse is being in relationship where i always end up treated like drama queen. As for details is everything. I am working hard to survive. sometime i can not handle it. But reading comments here made me feel i am not alone. Thank you....
Added: Mon, 8th January, 2018

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Name: Jennifer

Jesus is life. It's been a tough 17 years but I made it.....
Added: Sun, 2nd October, 2016

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Name: Reply by: Admin

Rosy, Thank you for your comment. Welcome to HSP Surivivors--a Community that Cares and understands deeply. Warmest wishes of hope and healing to you as you search for support through my articles and posts :D, Roxanne

I apologize but I cannot reply to all comments--these are reposts of previous replies. I will be checking in from time to time and I read all guestbook posts. Love and light to all, Roxanne :D....
Added: Thu, 12th May, 2016

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Name: Reply by: Admin

jonieaholland, Thank you for your comment. An HSP son is a wonderful son to have! A parent can help so much by "seeing" his amazing soul as wonderful "just as he is" and empowering him to be his glorious sensitive self. Support would be helpful and perhaps others out there can recommend a place that is especially nurturing for HSPs--a parent's unconditional love can do wonders to heal the wounds of the spirit that HSPs suffer the most from. He is a gift to the planet and compassion for others his greatest gift of all. Warmest wishes to you and son, Roxanne....
Added: Thu, 12th May, 2016

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Name: Reply by: Admin

Nichole Willsey, Sending you encouragement and support to find your inner strength. You are a shining light just waiting for you to know you have the light switch in your hands--others in your life didn't want you to know you had the "power" all along but you do!! Welcome to our supportive community. Thank you for sharing and reaching out. We the "disempowered" can heal and rise again! With much loving support, Roxanne....
Added: Thu, 12th May, 2016

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Name: Reply by: Admin

Hi4dvlund@gmail.com, Thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing and accomplished shining light and you deserve so much love and support. I am so sorry you are experiencing so many losses right now--extreme-self-care for yourself will help you get through. This is a foreign concept to many of us raised with unsupportive families with a lot of negative energy--so what it means is to shower yourself with what you would imagine the kindest mother in the world would do for you to heal and comfort you and do that for yourself. You deserve this unconditional love. Quiet time alone to grieve and write out your feelings can be a big help. Sending love and light to support you as you journey to your goals in graduate school, Roxanne....
Added: Thu, 12th May, 2016

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Name: Reply by: Admin

Hi Survivor 29. Welcome to our Community of HSP Survivors! Thank you for signing the guestbook and for sharing your story. Sending you shining rays of hope and healing as you learn more about your inner strength and highly sensitive GIFTS on my websites. You are stronger than you know. :D With love and light, Roxanne....
Added: Thu, 12th May, 2016

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Name: danielle

Is a HSP individual capable of holding a relationship?

I fit in with every part of HSP symptoms. When I was very young, I was bullied alot. By my reactions to certain things people would discover how easy it was to push me around. This progressed into my relationships as a teenager, but I would stand firm.

It wasn't until college when I had my first real swept off my feet feeling that I stopped standing as firm in romantic relationships. It resulted in me getting raped of my virginity two months into the relationship by that boyfriend. I didn't know at the time that was considered rape because I figured because he was my boyfriend, he used persistence but wasnt hitting me like in the movies and just happened to go too far. I thought I had to marry him because as I grew up Roman Catholic you are not to have sex before marriage. I felt like no one would ever want me after him and that I was damaged goods. I found out years later during therapy that the thought process of damaged goods is something that rape victims think. Two weeks after the incident, he dumped me. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship. He also said he loved me, but he wasn't in love with me. At 18, I was devastated. I tried for close to 2 years to make us work. I was never called his girlfriend. I was just there. I went through alot of emotional abuse with him. It wasn't until one day that I had an epiphany and dumped him. He chased me for a bit afterwards and even contacted me years later apologizing for everything and take him back. I found out afterwards that he was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.

After him, I dated this guy who had abandonment issues as he was adopted as a child after a kidnapping where his druggie stripper mother left him in a car running with the doors unlocked. He dated girls before me, but they all cheated on him. He had major insecurity issues with his appearance and with our relationship because he was was dependent on me for his happiness. I couldn't be sad because he would go through deep sadness. If I didnt show care above and beyond to him, then he would get angry. If we werent together every time he was available and wanted to see me, then he would get angry and lash out at me. He got so angry once that he caused me to lose control of my car and get in a very serious car accident. He also gave what the therapist called backhanded compliments. All this emotional stress and series of events, caused me to have suicidal thoughts and paniac attacks. I was living far away from home. My friends I barely saw or spoke to because he wanted all my time so I gave it to him. I felt like I couldn't escape him and he kept wanting to bite bigger chunks of me until there was no more of me left. If I was at work,then he would show up. If I was at my loft, then he would drive over then hangout, get mad, drive off recklessly, come back in a hour or so apologizing to me and saying the sweetest things so I would forgive him.

I ended up going to a asylum to seek shelter and to help cope. I was there two days and at the end of the ordeal they gave me medicine, a psychologist to see weekly, and a therapist. I was removed from school and sent back to live with my family. It was found that the rape and abuse had caused me to get PTSD and severe anxiety disorder. During my therapy, I became a little strong and dumped him. He was very upset and said that he held a secret from me that he had acute bi-polar disorder and refused to take his medicine. Just my luck, right? -_-

After close to a year and a half of therapy, I was okay enough to enroll back in school. I stayed single for a bit and casually saw a guy who had a fear of commitment. It bothered me, but at the same time I was thankful because I vividly remembered the bitter taste of the last two relationships I had. This guy helped me build up my self-esteem again without realizing it. I will always be indebted to him for that. He moved away and I decided to stay single and do everything I have ever wanted to do as I have always lived for someone else's happiness. Those five years were the greatest amd most life changing years of my life! I found a better job, graduated college, made a career out of it, and even reached my life long dream of living on the West Coast.

I knew only one person in the city I live now so I started to try to adventure out to make friends. I made a few and one of them was a guy. He is a year older than me and was recently divorced and worked in law enforcement. We ended hitting it off and he ask me to get in a relationshio with him.

Some housing arrangements fell through as my friend's time with the Navy was drawn to a close. I was scrambling around looking for a place to live when he told me to stay in house and pay him rent. Now, I have never ever lived with any boyfriend before so this was a no-no for me especially since, again, my roots are you dont live with a man until marriage. Time eventually ran out and I took him up on his offer.

I regret this. He told me within two months of knowing me he loved me. That is too fast and too strong for me. I said it back because I did have a little bit of love but not sure yet because of my horrible experiences where I choose the wrong people to love.

So this is where I am at now-- He does not like how sensitive I am. He says I can't take a joke which I can as long as it doesnt belittle me or someone else. I prefer kneeslappers which is what he did when we first met. I take things literal and he gets annoyed by that.

I feel like I am a failure as a girlfriend despite how much he says he brags about me to people at work and how happy he is that I am with him and I have the appearance of his dream girl and intelligence and nice girl attitude etc, etc.

What do I do?
Should I dump him?
Should I stay?
He says that I need to change my flaws which one is being a little bit closer to a clean freak, but the rest are traits of HSP. I told him several times that maybe we are too different and we should call it quits to which he gets bery defensive about and angry that I am contemplating calling it off.

Do I abandon myself act like a zombie to just do what he wants?
Are the traits of HSP flaws?
Do I need to just be with another HSP person?
Am I incapable of love?
Should I resort to just staying single andnnot allowing any contemplation of romance with anyone?

Help.

Thanks all....
Added: Tue, 19th January, 2016

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Name: JeremyJ

I recently discovered the term HSP, before I knew I was a sensitive person, but thought that was all it was. I had an anxiety attack when I was 22 and was put on Paxil which made me extremely euphoric and within a few months I crashed. The first depressive episode of my life. A few years later and a few jobs later I was diagnosed Bipolar II and put on more meds. They never seemed to work for me. Eventually, I was put on disability. I've struggled with deep depression for the last 7-8 years and ultimately attempted suicide last October. Luckily, I survived, amazingly so, I took over 350 pills! When I realized I was an HSP, it came as great relief. Now, I wonder though if I'm HSP and Bipolar? And if I'm just HSP, how does the medication affect me, does it help or hinder? I'm now taking Adderall and Depakote and I worry that if it's the Adderall that's improving my mood and tolerance is inevitable, what then?....
Added: Mon, 18th January, 2016

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Name: Ingrid F.

It is so hard to find people as sensitive and caring as myself, for I have heard " oversensitive', and "aren't you over that yet?" or "Why do you mind so much?' etc. all too often. My mother dies when I was not quite 15, and I was told to "help poor daddy, care for little sister, care for bereaved grandmother, car for older brother ( with handicap) and make sure my dad had a helper. The emotional abuse was horrific and still goes on, even though I set my boundary and say " no more". I now grieve the loss of my second husband ( to death) AND my two siblings for even at age 66, they still blame me for not taking it any more. I inderstand too much that they cannot help tit fir they had wrong parenting too. But all that insight does not heal the pain. Now I have Lyme's and it hurts and I deal with so much. I am exhausted. Please who will hold me and rock me and love me through this?
Love to you all,
Ingrid....
Added: Tue, 4th August, 2015

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Name: Alexandria P.

My story is your story. The abuse is beyond my ability to cope anymore. I have been trying so hard to work through this and I cannot find an appropriate counselor that gets it. I cannot keep going on like this, it's too much pain.....
Added: Sun, 7th June, 2015

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Name: Bettina Jensen Hey
Im a HSP and have a narcissistic mother. And my father was a alkohol abuser and melester.
My father is dead now. Im 29 and have had help for 5 years to try to figure out me and my femlings and why im so sad sometimes. And i dont se my mother anymore. And thats a blessing for me. I am starting to live MY life and its great:) but i know that i sometimes still Will have the sad days, but now i embraise Them and are letting myself let go of the pain. And its okay. But i miss someone to talk to who has expirenced the same... I have a Loving husband and amazing friends, but i feel that its sometimes to hard for Them to listen to my stories from my past or really understand them. Are there Any forums or places to talk? Love bettina_sejbjerg@hotmail.com....
Added: Fri, 10th April, 2015

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Name: hsp, infj etcI pretty much think I am hsp, and am wondering if you think hsp could develop out of having ones boundaries overstepped in formative years ? Maybe something that also develops earlier in the womb as a result and reaction to stress factors, hormonal input etc ?....
Added: Tue, 1st July, 2014

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Name: Caroline

I want to say thank you so very much for this article (Tips and Reminders for Highly Sensitive Survivors of a Narcissistic Parent). It made me cry because it resonated with me so much, and it was written in such a loving and comforting way - which, as you pointed out in the article, is something I didn't have growing up. As a woman in my 30s, I have felt like a failure for so long because I haven't been able to find my life's purpose or my true calling. I only recently realized that there were actual terms for people like me - Sensitive, Highly Sensitive, Empathetic. And only very, very recently did I realize that I was the child of a "Narcissistic Parent" - I had no idea that such a thing even existed before. Now that I do, I feel maybe I can finally become who I want to be. At little older, a little later than I would have liked, but as they say, better late than never. Anyway, thank you for your work. ....
Added: Tue, 4th March, 2014

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Name: INTJ

Been really a rough time in my life with a narcissist mother and emotional abuse from family members who think crying isn't allow during a funeral. Seems to becoming worst when I reach the 15 to 21 after following making the right decision yet family members never improve their mindset. When I decided to go to college irritating Church members who don't care when I spend time with my beloved grandmother and act as if they are paying for my tuition fee blame me for failing the exams and stubborn towards authority in College later upgrade to become University when in actual fact I was right all along that most of them never seen the real side of me working that hard. Really nearly lost my trust with majority of humanity living near me where they aren't highly sensitive to their double standards. ....
Added: Sat, 21st September, 2013

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Name: Wendy

Nicole listen to the song Hold On by Alabama shakes music will sometimes inspire. There is hope at the bottom of pandora's box....
Added: Wed, 10th July, 2013

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Name: Sage

Well, I guess as is normal for an HSP, when I found your site I had to hold back the tears. I am a survivor of a NPD mother and have worked through that but had NO idea about HSP or that anyone else understood what it's like to feel so much and that it's normal. It's nice to finally know I'm not alone. Now to learn how to spot vampires before it's too late. The work continues. Thank you.....
Added: Wed, 12th June, 2013

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Name: KateE

I am a very sensitive woman. My heart large and wounded. My parent's/sibling's don't have this problem as they are insensitive and self-centered. I don't do anything out of guilt/obligation as it doesn't work for me. My family is not pleased with the change in me, but I do this for myself, if I'm happy that is all that matter's. My road has been long and sad but I will never find the love and caring in them it does not exist. But it does exist in me. I feel thing's that truly amaze me, I can love deeper than anyone I know, but I am careful with whom I share these amazing talent's, because the wrong person will never see the beauty in what I see. Lucky me~....
Added: Tue, 4th June, 2013

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Name: Kelsey Wallace

My friends always tell me that I am "too" sensitive emotionally...they make me feel as if I have a problem. I don't mean to be the way that I am..I wish I could be different so that maybe inherently I would fit in with them. They get annoyed with my constant concern about their feelings towards me. But I just care about them so much that I want to make sure I haven't offended them in any way. I am constantly writing poetry and playing musical instruments to proficiently display my emotions. I draw, I participate in lyrical writing. I feel the only time I am somewhat at peace is when I engross myself in my artistic hobbies. Relationships and life in general tend to overwhelm me on a regular basis. I correspondingly will isolate myself to avoid getting hurt emotionally or to avoid anxiety..but at other times I am a social butterfly. I still am anxious, but I ignore my feelings and act erratically in an attempt to entertain people and maybe fit in. But the entertaining side always fades and then I slump into what is kind of a quiet, hermit-like state. Do I have a problem? Am I too sensitive? I just want to be normal? I don't want my friends to hate me for my sensitive nature. Please help me.....
Added: Fri, 10th May, 2013

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Name: Survivor 29

I believe I was raised by a narcissistic parent and then later had a step parent the same and later on an ex spouse as the same. I am healing 29 years of abuse and sifting through the crazy making that was engrained in who I have become. Undoing most of what was done is a long process, but necessary. Thank you for having this website, I hope to learn much from it.....
Added: Fri, 19th April, 2013

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Name: 4dvlund@gmail.com

Finally, after exhaustive search and lenghy reading list about HSP I stumbled onto this site in the HSP Global google communities.
Two months ago I was a graduate research assistant and in the last year of a doctorate program in educational leadership higher education. On January 1, 2012 my mom died, on May 1, 2012 my father and I began living together, two weeks later, May 16, 2012 I have a heart attack but no sign of disease, a fluck the doctor called and received a stint and warm wishes for a wonderful life, on July 21, 2012, my narcissistic sister aledges I intentionally tried to discredit her with family by suggesting she sexually abused, September/October 2012 found listen devices planted in house, tracking software on iPhone and AT&T confirmation of data being sent to servicing website, October 31, 2012 my girlfriend of 7 1/2 years has sexual affair and ends relationship and as an HSP being a graduate research assistant, in a doctoral program, assisting my father with daily living activities get no assistance or support from three siblings, and long-term relationship ending my world feel completly apart and I am lost and looking for help. In the Fall of 2009 I moved in with my parents to complete masters level counseling internship at local university. While living with them became painfully aware my adoptive mother exhibited a host of narcissistic characteristics marking the day my education and search for authentic self began. Anyone reading this please contact me if you know of a counselor in Michigan that works with HSP's please. Thank you all so much for letting me share.....
Added: Sun, 31st March, 2013

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Name: Nichole Willsey

Feeling broken and trying to hold on.......
Added: Mon, 11th February, 2013

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Name: jonieaholland@gmail.com

need in-pt healing center for HSP son of 27 years....any suggestions?....
Added: Tue, 27th November, 2012

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Name: Rosy

Thank you for your articles.....
Added: Mon, 12th November, 2012

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